8. Love

I am those kind of person who will get crazy over a movie if i fell in love with it. Following are some examples: keep recommending to friends, searching for more reviews, reading characters' profiles and etc. And i never had this kind of feeling after "Inception" in 2010. However, this year, the feeling is back, a movie called "Interstellar" directed by the same director affected my emotions and caught my attentions again. After watching,  there will be only 2 types of spectators, either you love it or you hate it. This is how extreme this movie is. Put aside all the sciences behind (black hole, time relativity, singularity, event horizon, 5th dimensions….) and how spectacular the CGI was performed in the movie, this movie is all about love; the love of a father to her daughter, the love of the human nature, the love of sacrificing for human being… This is the true meaning behind the story as stated by the director himself. I just feel bad for those sci-fic fans who went in with the expectations of getting full spectrum of space explorations. There was a twist with the ending of the movie, and i was literally blown away. Imagine now we are talking about 5th dimension. What the heck is that? Its really beyond my current knowledge. 

On top of that, the main thing to grab from the movie is time awaits for no one. We are living in the 3rd dimensions, which time will only go forward at a consistent pace. In the movie, time was featured as the main subject. You will realize why time is so important in the movie, and we literally take it for granted right now. I was very depressed for quite some times, and after watching the movie and reading  a book called " the power", i tell myself that i always need to see things from different angle to make myself happy and positive. It's hard of course, but I'm going to stretch to a maximum extent to try it out and get this energy imprinted in me permanently. Anyway, for those who haven't watched this movie yet, why not get your butt up and watch it. Share with me. I am anticipating for your reviews. 

7. Speechless

I was quite emotional today. Part of the reasons is caused by the monthly menstrual cycle, and the other one is partly i feel that I'm being taken for granted. All the while i have this kind of feelings. It really gets even stronger when you're in this industry. Anyway, sorry for not writing any meaningful entries. This entry is just to remind myself to become stronger, and to become resilient of others' attack/ignorance. 

6. Mindset

I had great time today spending time with my kindergarten friend. We have known each other for the past 24 years (roughly there i guess!) But of course, we didn't really know what was happening back then.. memory wasn't well developed yet (but sadly to say that, even till now, my memory is still bad). I guess I was only good in memorizing textbook knowledge as i scored 100% for history subject. But today i am not here to talk about the past, more like just ramble on the happy random-ness. Like what i have mentioned previously, i get used to stay at home and never really like to spend any spare time loitering outside without specific purpose in mind. However i did it today (of coz triggered by the friend visiting me). I shopped quite a bit today (which wasn't the intention to begin with at 1st). I got myself a cute red hat (imagine the red riding hood, and thats the 'red' I'm indicating to). I didn't intend to get it at 1st, but of coz with the constant compliments from your evil gal friend, there was no way out and you just need to go with the flow. So i got it apparently and okay la - i need to admit that it looked not too bad on me la~ (evil grin). And today basically we did  nothing else other than shopping and eating. What i want to emphasize more is the gals talk we had last night. We had a long catch up last night. I went to where she stayed and to keep her company. This friend of mine has a very strong character, yeah, u didn't get me wrong, she is strong in almost every aspects - tough, matured, independent, optimistic (personalities) + right now she's so fit with 'packs' (results from gym). Her intention was just to lose weight like any of the other gals at first, but within few weeks, she got so interested and now she is trained to build her body up. Her perseverance was well praised by the trainers and she is now role model for most of the newbies. I can't deny that she really got me influenced and made me see things in different perspective. She had a hard time before, even now still i guess. But she handled it brilliantly, garnered with the power of law of attractions, she adjusted her mindset and saw things in a total different way. She is a happy person now! In contrast, what i am lacking of is the correct mindset. I always see things in their darkest way. Thats why, i tried something different today - the 1st thing that i did when  i woke up in this morning was setting my own mood (tuned to positive and happy channel). I know it sounded so stupid but it worked! at least it worked for me. Anyway, i still need to work hard on this. Its a homework for me - how to make myself happy and be contented with my life. 

5. Type ISFJ

"According to Myers-Briggs, ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others’ feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy. 

According to Keirsey, ISFJs, or "Protector Guardians", are most concerned with taking care of people by keeping them safe and secure. They are modest caretakers who do not demand credit or thanks for their efforts. But while they are essentially compassionate—and in fact exercise more patience in dealing with people with disabilities than perhaps any other type—their shyness with strangers can lead others to misread them as standoffish. Only among friends and family may this quiet type feel comfortable speaking freely. ISFJs are serious people with a strong work ethic, not inclined to self-indulgence. They believe in being meticulous and thrifty. They work well alone. While they may enjoy taking care of others, they do not enjoy giving orders."

What's your type? 

I belong to type ISFJ.  I find most of the points are well-desbribed about me as a person except for the 'quite' part i guess. But seriously speaking, i only talk to people who i feel comfortable with. And only the people i care will see the real me. I do not have to go extra miles to prove myself, as people who understand me know me. 

Hmm, "I can work well alone".. Oh well, mostly yes and partly no depends on the situation. Like what i have aforementioned, i am a 'shy' type. My work needs me to meet lots of strangers (which means I'm not comfortable with) and this is the 'show time' of my extreme shyness. However, one thing for sure, i am serious people with strong work ethic, i do not simply give false information and i stand strong my points all the time. I do not like to play around when comes to work. Guess this must go with my personality of loving to keep people safe and secure. 

Trustworthy is another personality which I'm kinda proud of myself. A big clap for myself!! Anyway, i find high reliability of this test in describing my personality. Of course, for sure there are some people out there who do not think so and love to do comparison with other sources to test its accuracy and reliability. But why? Haha, guess I'm just too simple-minded.

Guess I had kind of a rough day today. Didn't sleep well last night though. Too much thoughts! (oppps, this contradicts with my simple minded personality). Haha, Im Gemini. Okay?

Btw, just found this. Interesting.

4. Unpredictable

Life is really unpredictable. I accidentally slipped my hand, and the Samsung Galaxy 4 was being thrown to my mac screen and now it formed a spider web (permanently). Now i really understand why Samsung and Apple will forever be rivals. I was really upset when i 1st realized it. But then, after minutes of cooling down, life is unpredictable and that makes things wonderful. (this is my own personal view, of course i do feel sad for moments, but seriously nothing much can be done, i have no healing hands) so move on and sure God has a purpose for putting me through this. (a hint to get a new one!) since this was given by my ex-company, and eventually i had some problems with my ex-boss. This can relate easily back to life and to my job as well. Life is really unpredictable. To be frank, i am angry with people who telling me that 'I can't bring my money with me when i die, so why not just spend as much as i can and enjoy', 'life is unpredictable, I will never know whether tomorrow I will die'  or 'i won't get into accident one, i am always the lucky one' so on and so forth. Yes, I'm still angry but nothing much i can do. For me, I always think that my own death is not scary at all, i only worry about those who depend on me when i wasn't around anymore/ when i get ill, will I become the burden for them? Think about it! Its not a matter whether you're well to do or not, its whether you can control your current expenses and plan for the future. But seriously i think that everyone knows the theories/importance behind, so no point for me to keep rambling here. Anyway, life is unpredictable, just like my poor screen. R.I.P, i am sure i will put you in good use at least for another few more years.

3. Sharing

Had a great talk with my bestie and as always, we shared and learnt. Talked about how our deed will influence the people around us or even next generation. I am not too sure whether people nowadays do believe in karma or not (as it's quite an old-fashioned style of thinking), for me, I'm not entirely bind with that thought as most people are still on top despite the dirty sh*ts that they have done on others, people used all sorts of ways to get what they want. But one point my friend has indicated was quite crucial, karma might not act upon you, but your loved one/next generation. So really depends on how you think about it and whether you're able to accept the fate if there was really one. Im not GOD, so i am not perfect. And no one could give the perfect meaning for 'perfect'! But one thing I'm sure of myself is i won't do things that go against my belief and anything that go against the laws. So for me, theres nothing much to be afraid of when come to this. How about you? Money is the root of all devils, does this still applicable to this era of generation now? Haha. Its quite a serious topic though. But trust me, throughout the chat, we did lol and talked nonsense. It wasn't sound as serious as how it was being described here. 

Today was indeed a good day. Can you imagine? MONDAY is a public holiday! and i had a pint of beer! Speaking of this, i used to treat alcohol as one of the best ways to forget unhappiness moments. Those times were just crazy. Thinking that 今朝有酒今朝醉, things will become better when you wake up the next day. But that are all bullshits! Remember, choose only alcohol when you're in great mood and by this, you can see the value of alcohol brings to you. 

2. Friend(s)

It really feels so good that you have bestie(s) who understands you all the time. I am a lucky one as I have one that knows me inside out. She shares both my sadness and happiness. She listens to me and always shows supports. She always believe in me and makes me think that I'm one of the best on earth. (Haha.. I'm not exaggerating, this gal friend of mine really has that ability to make me think so). But of course, for me, i also think that she's the most wonderful person on earth. 

Let me list down why she's so 'wonderful':

a. She prepared bento for me in uni time (although i guess it was because of the internet in my room back then >_<).

b. She used to cry with me (hmm..couldn't remember for what purposes..because i got bullied) - FYI, i used to be very feminine.  哭包是我的座右铭。

c. We used to hang out everyday (almost 24 hours) till everyone thought that we were lesbian back then. 

d. She cooked 'HEALTHY' food for me - too healthy that i don't even know whats the taste

e. She always thinks that i picked the right career (perhaps you're the only one who thinks so my dear.. haha)

f. She always love to praise me in front of others

g. She always does crazy stuff with me - (yeah we can eat whole day non-stop)

h. anyway, seriously am i really that perfect to you? Haha.

i. She gone through all my ups and downs with me

SERIOUS PART

j. She taught me how to be less cocky. I used to be very cocky and think that Im right in almost every way. Everyone needs to listen to me as if i give the best advice and no one can have the chance to talk bad behind me. As if he/she did, i will revenge (of course, just talk bad behind). The worst part is, i cannot be the loser, i must win in almost every way; arguments, discussions, appearance, results, competitions….

k. She taught me how to be more thoughtful for others. I can't think of any person who can be as thoughtful as she is. 

l. She taught me how to be ignorant of what others say about me. Like what i have mentioned, I can't bear with criticisms. I will die if i knew anyone criticizing in front/behind me. Its joke to me now when m think about how silly was i back then. Seriously i don't need to be so angry right, just some little cursing on my mind will serve them right. - jk

n. She is environmentalist, volunteer for the needs, laughing stock, comedian (her cuteness/silliness always make people around her smile), friendliest person (can smile with anyone even the janitor - i truly find this inspiring, as when i smile with anyone on the street right now, you will not only brighten your day but their days too especially when they smile back) - my quote, "no one will reject a good smile" . and the lists go on.

Thank you. I love you as much as you love me. 

1. Introduction

Okay, I seriously need to salute to all those bloggers out there who eventually write their blogs daily. It really needs persistency, determination, creativity and lots of encouragement from people around you to keep you going. Once, i used to write a lot (almost) everyday when i was studying in Aussie, why? as i felt the pressure from all sorts of school assignments, and i really needed a space to vent everything out. Of course, writing journey stopped after few months since i 1st started few years back due to the lack of topics and also  my vocabs efficacy. I always find bloggers that are able to express themselves well through writing amazing. I know that i can't and never a chance that i am able to do that throughout my life.

Okay I'm really bored today. I don't have the urge to lure myself out of the house. Just feel that there are nothing outside that seem interesting to me at all. I used to just love going out to take a walk during weekends, even though i wasn't in the mood of buying. But, right now, something in me changed, I'm not a fans in shopping, hanging out with friends, wandering outside, or any activities that required me out of the house. Anyway, i personally know that there are something wrong with me. But guess i just don't wanna admit it. 

*****************

Just installed we chat back. And found out the pru-gal that have conflicts with me wrote something bad about me on her wechat's post. Anyway, yes, i felt a pang in my heart and it was truly (to be honest) sad. I didn't feel angry at all as i really don't find the point doing this. I find it very childish. But of course, i find myself childish right now for even needs to mention it here. Past is past, more importantly is what lies ahead of me. No wonder, i sneezed quite a lot recently, guess i have made more enemies than friends for past 1 year. Haha. Anyway, i care no how others judge on me, as no one know better my own situation than I do. But of course, i do appreciate advices, feedbacks as well as criticisms also. I wanna love myself as much as how i love my forever friend bears. I always believe that there are reasons why God putting me through all these (As human, i question sometimes). "To love myself more!"Im no longer the kid who loves gossiping about other ppl, blaming the inequality in life, spending time for make-up (of course, we must look presentable). But still, my biggest problem right now, i like staying at home and do nothing. This sounds so unhealthy. Watching shows or reading fictional books won't help me gain extra knowledge. Im searching for the drive in me. I love my job as it gives me satisfaction in helping others, but at the same time, i feel hard to connect with ppl nowadays. I'm becoming more autistic as time goes. But I believe in myself that I'm able to overcome all these.