Okay, I seriously need to salute to all those bloggers out there who eventually write their blogs daily. It really needs persistency, determination, creativity and lots of encouragement from people around you to keep you going. Once, i used to write a lot (almost) everyday when i was studying in Aussie, why? as i felt the pressure from all sorts of school assignments, and i really needed a space to vent everything out. Of course, writing journey stopped after few months since i 1st started few years back due to the lack of topics and also my vocabs efficacy. I always find bloggers that are able to express themselves well through writing amazing. I know that i can't and never a chance that i am able to do that throughout my life.
Okay I'm really bored today. I don't have the urge to lure myself out of the house. Just feel that there are nothing outside that seem interesting to me at all. I used to just love going out to take a walk during weekends, even though i wasn't in the mood of buying. But, right now, something in me changed, I'm not a fans in shopping, hanging out with friends, wandering outside, or any activities that required me out of the house. Anyway, i personally know that there are something wrong with me. But guess i just don't wanna admit it.
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Just installed we chat back. And found out the pru-gal that have conflicts with me wrote something bad about me on her wechat's post. Anyway, yes, i felt a pang in my heart and it was truly (to be honest) sad. I didn't feel angry at all as i really don't find the point doing this. I find it very childish. But of course, i find myself childish right now for even needs to mention it here. Past is past, more importantly is what lies ahead of me. No wonder, i sneezed quite a lot recently, guess i have made more enemies than friends for past 1 year. Haha. Anyway, i care no how others judge on me, as no one know better my own situation than I do. But of course, i do appreciate advices, feedbacks as well as criticisms also. I wanna love myself as much as how i love my forever friend bears. I always believe that there are reasons why God putting me through all these (As human, i question sometimes). "To love myself more!"Im no longer the kid who loves gossiping about other ppl, blaming the inequality in life, spending time for make-up (of course, we must look presentable). But still, my biggest problem right now, i like staying at home and do nothing. This sounds so unhealthy. Watching shows or reading fictional books won't help me gain extra knowledge. Im searching for the drive in me. I love my job as it gives me satisfaction in helping others, but at the same time, i feel hard to connect with ppl nowadays. I'm becoming more autistic as time goes. But I believe in myself that I'm able to overcome all these.
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